Wednesday, April 11, 2012

timing

I held the back of her head and laid her in the bed
And watched the sheets raise and fall to the rhythm of her breath
Turn the lock on the handle and slipped down the stairs
To the cover of the night with diamonds in the air

Softly in my head, I could hear the Mat Kearney song playing out the scene before me. This moment was so familiar and fleeting - her eyes closing softly; the flicker of the alarm clock; moonlight through the window; the long, reflective drive home.

I think this was the night I finally knew it was over as I crept down stairs. There are just some things in life that are not built to last.

I won't bore you with the details because everyone goes through a similar scenario - fall in love, be inseparable, someone starts to lose interest, cheats, can never be trusted again. See?

Actually, I hope you never go through it. Especially if you are the one still in love, while the other is out ruining your ability to trust anyone again. But, there is a lesson to be learned. 

Somewhere in the frailty of our own hearts, there exists a regenerative power to trust and to love beyond all else. When it gets wounded, we retract and run away from anything that could put us at risk of being hurt again. Our response is to remove every similar situation and possibility. The problem is we remove the heart's chance to truly trust and love again. 

I mean, the girl I loved hurt me, but, as naive as it may sound, the next girl is not her. Give yourself a chance to heal, but also give yourself a chance to feel as you once did again. 

True love is something that uses the scars of the past to make a palace for your future.

Corny, sure it is. But, it is also true. 

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